Awesomeness

You ever have that moment when you’re awake and you really really wanna go to sleep…..but you’re too lazy to get the hell up and turn the goddamn light off?

Yeah. That’s me…. right now.

I’m gonna sleep with the light on now.

Okay.

I usually don’t post things like this here. I post long ass text posts about my boring life on my other *secret* blog. But seeing as yes, this IS a long boring text post, BUT it’s not a boring text post ABOUT MY LIFE. So I posted it to BOTH blogs, so all you fuckers can read it too. Hurray.

So I saw Breaking Dawn Part 2 the other day. If you haven’t seen it or read the books, you probably shouldn’t read this, unless you really don’t give a shit about it being spoiled for you. Now personally, I’m NOT  die hard Twihard. I don’t read the books. I don’t obsess over the dumbass characters. And I think Robert Pattinson is the ugliest motherfucker. 

Now I thought that this was THE best Twilight movie. First of all, it was way less sappy than the others. Then, it had the best fight scene. THE BEST. Seriously ‘cause it wasn’t just the Cullen family. It was a whole bunch of other vampires too, all against the Volturi. And Bella was way more badass in this movie. She was still a dumb bitch in this movie. But she was just LESS of a dumb bitch.

So the fight scene……It starts with all the vampires coming to face the Volturi. And no one wants it to lead to a fight, except for those 2 Dracula-ish looking dudes. But Alice and Jasper who had ran away right before the fight came back. Then Alice shows Aro what will happen with Bella’s daughter, so that they don’t kill her and the rest of the Cullens. But she looks at him and says “YOU DON’T CARE WHAT I SHOW YOU, YOU’RE STILL GONNA KILL US BLAH BLAH BLAH” Then a fight breaks out between all the vampires and the Volturi. But before the fight broke out, Bella told Jacob to take her daughter away, then a couple Volturi members started coming after him, but he got rid of them. And the first person to be killed was Carlisle. AND WHEN CARLISLE DIED I WAS LIKE “NOOOO FUCKING WAY.” Then Jasper died and I was like “DAFUQ.” And Alice killed Jane, which was my favorite fuckin’ part, ‘cause I always hated Jane. She’s the biggest bitch.

Then they pretty much killed all the main Volturi members. And Aro was last, of course. AND THEN…..AFTER THE FIGHT SCENE….. It goes back to when Alice first gave Aro her hand and she says “And that is your future.”

And I was like “DAFUQ. NONE OF THAT EVEN HAPPENED.” So then of course Aro let them live and didn’t fuck with Bella’s daughter. WHO WAS STILL THERE WITH JACOB because Bella only told them to go in the vision and not IN REAL FUCKIN’ LIFE. And so then Bella and Edward lived happily ever after and blah blah blah the end.

NOW I’M GONNA BITCH ABOUT EVERYTHING I FUCKIN’ HATED. So First of all, I think it’s fucking disgusting that Jacob is gonna end up with Renesmee. She’s a fucking child and he’s a fucking big ass werewolf. That shit is nasty and he’s a fucking pedophile. 

Next, I think it’s so fucking dumb that all these random ass vampires are risking their lives for one fucking person. Seriously, why do those people give two shits about Bella’s child? Renesmee should not have been that important to all these other random ass vamps. AND EDWARD EVEN MENTIONED THIS AT ONE POINT IN THE FUCKING MOVIE. He was all like “Oh I’m saving my child, but at what cost?” and the Carlisle was like “Everyone here has something to fight for.” And I was like BULL.SHIT.

And this isn’t specific to Breaking Dawn, but it’s about ALL the movies. Bella is NOT that fucking special, so I have no fucking idea why Edward and Jacob were so obsessed with her ‘cause she ain’t all dat *ghetto girl clap*

AND NOW FO’ DAT SHIT I ESPECIALLY LIKED AND SHIT. I reeeeeally like Benjamin. Benjamin was one of the Egyptian vampires and he could control the elements. At one point during the fight scene, this dude uses his power and just smashes on the fucking ice and the whole fucking ground breaks. A hole opens up and there’s all this lava and all sorts of vampires and wolves start falling in. Benjamin was one BAMF. Seriously.

And I liked Garrett. He had a really badass attitude. When we first see him, he’s killing some guy and he does it in the most sassiest way, I just fucking loved him. Then he ends up with Kate afterwards. He says “Woman, I’d follow you anywhere.” I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

And I really like Alistair too. When he first arrives at the Cullen house, he has the shittiest attitude AND I FUCKING LOVED IT. He’s like “Look, you busted ass fuckers.  If it leads to a fight, I’m fucking out of here, bitches. I ain’t fight the Volturi, fuck I look like?” And he’s just so fucking bitchy, it’s amazing.

So yeah…..That’s my take on Twilight and shit. Plot-wise, there’s not really much that I liked. The plot’s always been pretty dumb to me but whatever.

Seriously though, even if you don’t like Twilight, you should go see this one ‘cause it’s soooooo much more badass than any of the other movies.

Seriously.

twilight breaking dawn garrett alistair carlisle jasper alice aro dakota fanning jane jacob renesmee bella edward part two 2 badass what the fuck wtf fuck benjamin twihard spoiler alert stephenie meyer